We thank God

Sorry for my absence, it has been a rough 4 weeks. I have had many thoughts and things I have wanted to share, but I didn't...sometimes because I needed to process more, mainly because my heart was just dark and heavy.

Houston has been a hard transition for me, to those who live here and love it...it really has nothing to do with the actual place, as I ask the Lord to reveal what's going on in my heart more.. I know it is me and my selfish desires.

See Dallas had three very important things to me:
1) Distance (Will explain more in a sec)
2) Solid Church that kicked my butt
3) Community
I love these things and well two of them are very good things, but these two things have recently become more elevated than they should be. I began comparing and thinking I can't get that anywhere else, which frankly has left me frustrated and bitter. Instead of THANKING God for those beautiful things, I turned and made them mine. In Colossians, Paul continously gives the THANKS to God for all things, the gospel being shared, the faith of the believers, the way they loved one another. He didn't say, Hey church thanks for loving each other so well, He said I thank God for the work he has done. I am working toward letting go of the past, seeing it the way God would have me see it, and asking God for a love of this city too. I know my love for Dallas and its people didn't stem from my selfish heart, so I am trusting God to do the surgery on my heart here too.

So to the reason I have been away. You read my list of three and think "Distance", why did that make the top three and distance from what?!?!? Well, I would love to say on a surface level distance from our family and friends, which is definitely a sad point..it is much harder to make a 10 hour trip each way on the weekend than a 4.5 hour trip, BUT that is not the reason.

In December I received some bad news that my step-dad that is currently in jail, would be released early...like this year early. We knew that he would be released in the next few years, but we were praying for a later release so we would have less time. The family that he is planning on staying with JUST happens to be in Houston. Now I know God knew this when He allowed Justin to get into PA school and I know that my safety is only truly found in Him, but it doesn't negate the fear that still lingers with the possibility of him being close. This fact has made me love for Houston grow at an incredible snail like pace, there is much to be feared here and a lot of my own trust issues with the Lord that I have to face.

We have been earnestly praying since we moved here that our faith would increase, that I would surrender this fear to the Lord, and that I would God as my comforter, security, and hope. At the same time we have tried to be faithful to the things we can handle in this situation, talking with DA, writing letters, copying letters sent with threats, etc. Our main goal in this work was really just to restrict accessability, in order to reduce follow through on threats from my step-dad. We really didn't think anything else was an option once a date was set.

Well this past week we received a notification that his release date has been delayed until early next year. We are still waiting for full details and confirmation, but this is really good news. God heard our prayers and could have done anything (all the while still being faithful, righteous, and just), but he did something that we couldn't have asked for or imagine. We asked for limited access, but he gave us more months. Months to take the necessary earthly steps and months to continue to let our hearts be refined by Him. Months to build stronger bonds in the new community we are in. There are so many things that these few extra months help with that I can't even tell you all of them on here, call me if you want to know more. What I want you to know is that God is who we owe thanks and we are so humbled and thankful at his mercy.

ONE MORE THING: I had a really great conversation with my mom about God's faithfulness, which I am more thankful for than any change in release date. Also, my WHOLE family is attending church now as a family, which is something I have been asking God to do for over a decade. To top it off, my brother and sister were both baptized two weeks ago.

I thank God for the work He does to show us His goodness, faithfulness, love, and mercy when He doesn't have to at all. I thank God for the way He uses "bad/tough" situations to bring himself glory and for our santification. I thank God for a few more months.