Justin is my best friend. He has been for a long time. It's during times of adversity and difficulty that I'm reminded of this even more. He loves me so well. He has been nothing short of amazing in the past week. He has held me while I cried my heart out. He has waited on me hand and foot. He has prayed over me. He held my hand during my physical pain. He has cried with me and grieved with me. He has been so strong.
When I have flashes of reminders of that awful early Saturday morning, I try to redirect my thoughts back to my amazing husband. I think about how in the middle of all the gore, my sweet husband literally laid his body over mine to protect me from seeing more. He looked me in the eyes, wiped my tears and held my hand through all the pain. He prayed over me and helped keep me as calm as possible.
My heart aches for him so much. He lost a lot this week too. He lost his first child. He longs to be a dad. He prayed over our child at every prayer. In all of our struggles to get pregnant, he has remained hopeful. He has redirected me back to our loving God more times than I can recall. I hurt for him because I know he will be such a great dad. He will be a godly example. He will love our child well. He will teach them what it looks like to live with a quiet spirit, a definite contrast to my loud outspoken self. I hate that he has to wait again. I hate that I have no control or ability to fulfill this longing in his heart. All lessons that I know The Lord is teaching me over and over again.
Today I am praying a special prayer of healing over him. As he recovers and heals from our loss. I'm praying his heart remains steadfast in our Lord. Praying his hope is renewed. I'm praying the desires of his heart are fulfilled.
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