You shall never wash my feet!

In this new phase of life, I have seen a lot of pride within myself when I want to do things on my own and I can’t. When I can’t this war inside wages on ways I can try to do it, ways I can use my environment, any way NOT to have to ask or depend on someone else. This especially has shown me a lot about my partnership with Justin. I don’t want him to have to do anything extra for me, I don’t want to burden him, and I don’t want him to have to take a lowly place and serve me. Ugh it just feels terrible saying that out loud. I have seen in the past month of his continual service, his continual attentiveness to any need, his expectation of my needs and his generosity even with my wants that in our four and a half years of marriage that I have robbed him of aspects of our partnership and his responsibility as a husband by being prideful and attempting to be self-sufficient.

I was reading a passage in Ephesians 5:25-29 and It just struck my heart. “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing; that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.” His leadership sanctifies me, breaks those foolish areas of pride that linger inside. His servant-hood allows me to see Christ’s affection for me and for the church. Galatians 5:13 says “You were called to freedom, only do not use your freedom as an opportunity of the flesh, but through love serve one another.” It is not obligation but through LOVE that we serve others whether in our jobs, our home, our community, or our relationships.

Finally, John 13 brings us to Jesus washing the disciple’s feet. He tells them in vs 7 “What I am doing you do not understand now, but afterward you will understand.” Ok… I am connecting with that because there is so much about RIGHT NOW that I don’t understand. Then Peter much like me in my heart says to the Lord, “YOU SHALL NEVER WASH MY FEET.” I totally get that, like I don’t deserve this and I can’t stand to see you do this for me and I just don’t want to sit here and let you do this…no, not gonna happen. Then Jesus responds to him and says, “If I do not wash you, you have no share with me.” Ouch! I mean no relationship, no share…really? This is where the whole Justin taking care of me and my pride clash. I am in this relationship, he wants to serve me and he is faithful to that calling as a husband… I am just slow to respond. God has been so kind to show this to me in a very real way, I mean like literally Justin has had to wash my feet because of this injury. It was so painful to sit there and not be able to do anything and just see how gross my foot was from two post surgeries and a month of not being able to be cleaned. Yet he loved me through it and was so tender and kind to me. God set this example because he wants us to serve one another as he served us. He says in vs 35 “By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”

My challenge to you is to ask God to search your heart and see what war pride might be waging. Also, I challenge you to live a life of love towards others because you have been greatly loved first by God. We don’t serve for the sake of serving, we serve because we are overflowing with thankfulness and love because we have been greatly served first.