Being in your element

There are many ways to state that feeling of being in that place where you are being utilized and it brings you life. I have often wondered and worried if people that have said that are lying (terrible, right?), in denial, or have gotten some magic knowledge or skill that I don't have. I think we all have gifts, abilities, talents...whatever you want to call them...that when we are using them, we feel alive, rejuvenated, spent in a good way. I definitely recall my time in China being like this, exhausted and completely overtaken by joy. Homesick but hopeful. My struggle has been, how do I do that in the "real world." How do I use the talents, gifts, abilities...and work among people in my community and make a lasting impact.

About 2 years ago I considered going to grad school, my big debate was seminary or not. I had so many reasons personally for wanting to go to seminary. At the same time, I didn't want to work primarily in a church. I definitely want to be a servant to my faith community. At times it seemed frustrating because if I could have it my way in my plan, I would do both. Have that seminary experience, knowledge, challenge, etc and have the other. Yet, it just never worked and if you have been around me in the past 4 years, you know I have thought about it almost every year. I entered into a Masters of Social Work program. I like the professional values and mindset of social work. I like roots of social work. To me it completely aligned with my biblical viewpoint of working in this world. So, I applied and began in 2009.

Now, I wish that I could say it has been a magical time of enlightenment, happiness, and dreams coming true. Rather I have struggled a lot in the past two years with how to hold fast to my faith and values while becoming a social worker. I have struggled with isolation and doubt about this choice. I have created about 17 alternative plans, because I was almost certain this was the wrong choice. Bottom line, I wrestled with God over this part of my path. In the midst of that, he has provided encouragers to push me forward, to keep his mindset, and see through his eyes. I am so thankful for them and the many times they talked me out of quitting.

This semester, my final semester, I began an internship that I have wanted since I began the program. I started full time at MD Anderson. I love it. They have a mission and vision that I completely agree with 100%. They are about doing the right thing for the patient, because it is the right thing to do. They serve all populations. I have been completely excited every day because I finally feel like the crossroads of education and practice have been met. I finally feel like I am getting expended everyday in the most beautiful way possible. I am in my element.